Dr. Dre To Release Instrumental ‘Planets’ Album

Yesterday Dr. Dre confused the world’s music press by announcing that he was working on an instrumental concept album. He told a reporter “I want to call it ‘The Planets’. I don’t even know if I should be saying this, but fuck it. It’s just my interpretation of what each planet sounds like, I’ve been studying the planets and learning the personalities of each planet. I’ve been doing this for about two years now just in my spare time so to speak. I wanna do it in surround sound. It’ll have to be in surround sound for Saturn to work.”

Sorry, Dr. Dre releasing an instrumental concept album on what he thinks the planets sound like? What the hell, is this some kind of joke? Who does he think he is – some kind of street Gustav Holst? What happened to you Dre? You used to be so cool, this has to be the most tenuous concept for an album I’ve ever heard.

Having said that, Dre is a genius and I am a poxy blogger who wishes I could make music like Dre. The album will probably be brilliant and I’ll be exposed as the moron I certainly am.

In case this album does turn out to be the bowl of toss I’m expecting it to, let us all remember that Dre is beyond real criticism and be thankful that one so great chose to walk amongst us. Here he is at his absolute best in 1993, laying down some G-Funk for a certain Mr. Dogg, who I expect one or two of you will be familiar with.

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