Rattle your piggy bank and be nice to your Granny, Christmas is approaching (and has been since about September), and if you’re either rich or popular then you might be able to win the bidding on these charity auction items that seem almost designed to get you on the road to rock-stardom… the proceeds from the auction go to outsidein.org, a charity dedicated to “helping homeless youth and other marginalized people to health and self sufficiency”.

1) A Les Paul guitar and a guitar lesson from Chris Funk of the Decemberists – the tools and the know-how, bidding currently at $267.55 – you’ll need to just quickly record an album, and then take up your second auction win…

2) A publicity and legal consultation package – currently selling for the ridiculously low bid of $81, and including “glamour shots”, a six week radio campaign with added plugging and industry gladhanding from Spectre entertainment in Portland, and consultation with media law specialists. Once you’ve got your music, publicity, image and legal team all under control it’ll be time for the next item to come into play.

3) Two tickets to SXSW music 2010 including plane travel – the most important music industry conference in the States, the walk-up rate for 2 music badges alone is $1,500, add the value of a plane ride to Austin TX, and the current auction price of $560 looks rather tempting. Get this in the bag, and you can take your new glamorous, legally sound, Les Paul toting act down to rub shoulders with the industry’s movers and shakers for a weekend, and see more bands at more venues than you normally would in a year into the bargain. Also there are more places to buy barbeque than is really healthy.